Acceptance And Closure: The Last Phase Of An Apology

What to do when the person to whom you are apologizing is not having it:

  1. Expressed your intent to apologize and started with a thank you.
  2. Explained briefly what went wrong.
  3. Taken responsibility.
  4. Expressed your sorrow, apology, regret.
  5. Offered a way to repair the harm.
  6. Have asked if the person is ready to forgive you.

You have done the hard work in making that apology, so do not take it back out loud or in your own heart.

When someone isn’t ready to accept your apology, you get to give them space.

Asking other people to forgive us is asking them to put in the effort.

You get to do the work on yourself to make sure that you have acknowledged your part and the other person’s harm without harming yourself.

What to do when we are the ones on the receiving end of an apology or we aren’t, but we think that we should be.

You get to decide if you say, “It’s okay,” or if you say, “Thank you for apologizing.”

The remedies to both of these thought habits are to stay present in the moment and to tune into your body and your true needs.

All of us, if we wanted to, can list the oh so many times we’re owed an apology and didn’t get it.

Yup, I said it. You can find closure within yourself without getting an apology at all.

So you get to take back your life. Not to sit around waiting for someone else to make it better. You get to make it better for you in your own mind.

What I hope to help you understand is that when we are harmed and we wait on someone else to apologize, we are giving our power away.

You get to give yourself the closure you want and need with your own thoughts, especially when it’s evident that the other person doesn’t realize they did harm or you tell them, but they’re just not seeing it or getting it, which is what happened in this situation.

I can forgive or not. I can trust them again or not, but I don’t have to hold onto this hurt in my tender heart where it multiplies.

You don’t ever have to choose to give yourself closure and move on.

No one has to be wrong for you to be worthy of love and care.



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