Boundaries And The Holidays: Notice Your Internal Limit

  • If you raise your voice in a conversation, I will step out of the conversation.
  • If you drink to the point of excess, I will call you a cab and will ask you to leave my house.
  • If you talk about my weight or my body, I will let you know I’m going to change the subject now, or I’ll let you know that I prefer not to talk about my weight.
  • If you try to discipline my kids or insist that they give you a hug or a kiss without their consent, I will ask you not to do that. And if you continue, I will ask you to leave my house.

Boundaries are what you will do in response to someone else’s action.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean that you’re cold or mean or unloving.

A limit is what you will do in response to someone else, the action only involves you, not what you’ll ask of someone else.

There is always a consequence for pushing through a limit.

To situate the concept of limits within the holiday setting, some examples of limits could be around gossip.

She had hit an internal limit that, “I’ve had enough of this, thank you very much,” moment and she didn’t know what to do next.

One of the things that helps me and my life coaching clients so much is to think about scenarios ahead of time and to plan for them, knowing what we know from past experience.

Or, if it is a concern in your life, you can simply recognize your own internal limit and decide that it’s time for you to leave a situation.

I can recognize my own limits, can get clear on my motivation, intention, and story. I can just take myself to bed.

Do so before you react so that, instead, you can respond with self-love and you can make a choice that reflects that decision to take loving care of yourself honoring your internal limits.

You can spend this holiday season doing the vital work of learning your limits, of getting in touch with your body.

In conclusion, I want to encourage you to listen to your body and your limits, recognizing what you think and feel so you can move on from there.

I check in around my limits all day long.



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Victoria Albina, NP, MPH

Victoria Albina, NP, MPH

Victoria Albina, NP, MPH is a certified life coach, breathwork facilitator, holistic Nurse Practitioner and host of the podcast Feminist Wellness.