Catastrophizing: Reparenting Is The Antidote

Catastrophizing feels so bad!

When our catastrophizing habits interact with our insecure attachment it can create a whole maelstrom of mental and somatic, bodily, garbage.

At its core, catastrophizing is a way of trying to regain a sense of control.

When we catraopshize, we cannot be present to the here and now, and we miss out on all the beauty and joy right here, right now.

Catastrophizing is also a way your brain tries to protect you by essentially beating yourself to the punch.

My nerds, lest you blame, shame, judge or guilt yourself for all of this, remember that this habit is so wicked mammalian!

This is to say that ancestral stress lives on within our bodies.

What we forget in these moments when everything feels so big and overwhelming is that there is a balance between never planning for the future and catastrophizing.

Plan and release instead of living in the space where you expect and believe that the worst thing will happen all the time.

When you can see and pause the catastrophizing and take some breaths and stay grounded, that’s when you can take thoughtful action.

While I do love planning, I don’t pin my hopes of survival on my emergency go-bag. Instead, I recognize that I am the key to my survival.

Learning how to regulate your nervous system is vital for stepping out of this catastrophizing habit.

The remedies:

Awareness.

For most of us, coming from codependent, people pleasing, perfectionist thought habits, what we fear is how we will feel if things don’t turn out the way we want them to the way that makes us believe we will feel in-control, and thus, safe.

When you get present to the sensations without labelling them as terrible, they dissipate more easily on their own, because you stop adding fuel to the fire.

Next, really let your brain go to town on the worst case scenario.

  • They’re abandoning me.
  • Then what?
  • Then I won’t have them!
  • Then what?
  • Then I’ll be alone?
  • Then what?
  • Then I’ll feel sad.
  • Then what?
  • Then I’ll have to go back on the dating apps.
  • Then what?
  • Then I’ll feel dating anxiety all over again.

Our brains love to grab onto the worst thing it can imagine without really playing it out, and often enough, the actual worst case scenario is that we feel a feeling we are very uncomfortable with.

Next, I’ll invite you to do the same thing with the best case scenario.

What’s the likely middle ground here?

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